Sunday, October 13, 2013

What's wrong with my 7 yr old step daughter that she never is hungry?

dinner set 2012
 on ... this gorgeous outdoor table set up for a dinner party! Pic from here
dinner set 2012 image



Erica


I've been raising my step daughter since she was 2 yrs old and she's very thin. She claims she's not hungry everytime I ask her if she would like breakfast/lunch. Dinner she always eats and even then she acts like she's 3 kind of playing with her food, by starring at it and taking well over 30 mins to eat, with me and her father having to tell her to stop playing and eat. I have a 10 yr old son myself who I have to keep from eating everything in the house! My daughter ( I refer to my step daughter as my own and she calls me mom) only weighs 49 lbs and will be 8 in Jan and is almost as tall as my son, wearing a size 6 slim and those are a little baggy. Now, her mother only weighs 83 lbs and is 5'5. Yes, I know it's very unhealthy and looks horrible. Her mothers weight issue stems from drug use and mental issues. My daughter claims when she use to live with her mother that she and her brothers didn't get fed most of the time and she kept stomach aches due to not being fed. However, when we got her in November 2012 she wouldn't eat even dinner unless made to. She no longer visits her mother nor even talks to over the phone. This is her mothers doing. She hasn't bothered to so much as call her daughter since Jan. We have ran into her mother at least 3 times since then and she acts like she has no idea who we are and never mentions her daughter. Before anyone thinks this is why she wont eat is not the case. This behavior was happening before her mother stopped talking to her. I do agree this is having a huge effect on her, but she was never raised by her mother and barely even knows her. She has only been around her mother for a year total since birth. Her grandmother and my husband had been raising her until the last 3 yrs when she stayed with just her grandmother then with custody issues she came to us where she says shes very happy at. Kids at school make fun of her weight and yet she still claims she's just not hungry. There are other issues with my daughter. She displays emotional problems and lies about everything and is very bossy to other children and when asked a question she feels she might be in trouble refuses to answer. We have taken her to doctors even shrinks and they all say its just behavior problem and say she needs discipline. No, she had never been in trouble for anything ever before she came to live in our house. My concern more then anything is her eating habits. I don't feel she is getting the calorie intake she needs and have told her doctor and the doctor says introduce new foods and ect. Nothing works and she just doesn't want to eat. Anyone have this same problem? I know all kids at some point don't want to eat healthly food and blah blah. This isn't the same. Example- yesterday she had a yogurt at 530am which was only 60 calories and refused to eat anything else until dinner was ready at 5pm and I mean she ate nothing not even a snack! I asked her 20 times over if she was hungry and she could have anything she wanted to eat and she insisted she wasn't hungry at all and wouldn't eat. Then dinner she ate a small piece of meat half of her peas and most her mac & cheese. Swore she was to full to eat anything else. Im worried she's slowly starving herself. Like I said her mother is a very unhealthly weight. Any suggestions would be very helpful.


Answer
Nothing is wrong with her. The average 7 year old weighs 50 lbs. You may want to change doctors and get a second opinion. Why would you take a 7 year old to a "shrink"? A therapist would be a better term to use in front of a small child. Please don't try to make her feel as if she is crazy. She is probably feeling unloved and rejected by her mother. I'm sure that would make anyone feel sad, let alone a 7 year old girl. She's also being bullied by her classmates. The problems this girl has and all you asked is, why she isnât hungry... I just hope you are not spanking her as "discipline". http://connectionparenting.com/parenting_articles/spanking.html
You may want to see if there are some classes you could take to learn how to parent a child with issues. Or see if there are books at the library that can help you develop the specific parenting skills that are needed to help your daughter.
You should also follow the doctor's orders... "the doctor says introduce new foods" - then - "yesterday she had a yogurt" - and - "dinner she ate a small piece of meat half of her peas and most her mac & cheese" ... Really??? Yogurt, meat, peas, and mac & cheese are "new" foods? Seriously now, if you really care about her, you will have to work at finding foods she enjoys. The ball is in your court now, and her mother has nothing to do with it. It's up to you. You may want to take her grocery shopping and let her fill the cart with whatever she wants. Set rules beforehand. No junk food. No pop. Only healthy foods to make dinners out of. Take a list of the ingredients you need to make recipes that interest her. Make it a fun experience. Don't worry about the cost. An overflowing grocery cart is cheaper than therapy. Try the Asian market or aisle. Go to the library and check out cookbooks. Take her with. Get children's cookbooks and let her cook with you. Buy aprons. Make it a fun experience for her. Some of the recipes you make together may be total failures. Brush it off and laugh about it. If you don't like what you two have cooked, let her know that it's okay not to eat it. Then go grab a yogurt and a piece of bread. Don't worry, it may not be a total loss, maybe your son will eat it. :)
You may also want to contact the school to see if they can help your child with the main issue of her being bullied by the other children. But you and your husband may want to stop 'bullying' her yourselves first. "me and her father having to tell her to stop playing and eat." - and - âI asked her 20 times over if she was hungry". That's really excessive. How would you feel if someone asked you the same question 20 times? Leave her alone. So what if it takes her 30 minutes to eat. Pick your battles, do you want her to eat or do you want her to hurry up and eat? If you don't quit bothering her about eating, she may develop an eating disorder and end up looking worse than her mother.
She'll probably eat more if dinner time is an enjoyable experience, not a battleground.

How much evidence will it take to convince democrats that Fox News bias is dwarfed by their biased media?




holeymoley


Now that the 2012 election is over they're telling jokes about dems:

8/5/13 http://news.yahoo.com/comics-look-obama-democrats-humor-062155463.html A study of gags by late-night comics during the first half of the year found an abrupt change from 2012. Now Obama and Democrats are providing the lion's share of punch lines.
------
As though more evidence is necessary?

-Polls on how Americans saw the mainstream media (TV and print) election coverage in 2008: Rasmussen poll, 69% for Obama, 6% for McCain; Pew Research poll, 67% for Obama, 11% for McCain; Sacred Heart University poll, 68% for Obama, 9% for McCain; Fox News/Opinion Dynamics poll, 67% for Obama, 11% for McCain.

-University of Connecticutâs Department of Public Policy survey of journalists, nationwide, during the 2008 election: 52% supported Obama versus 19% for McCain.

-9/2009 Sacred Heart University Polling Institute: 69.9% agreed the national news media are intent on promoting the Obama presidency while 26.5% disagreed.

-9/23/10 Pew Research poll: 43% of those who perceive bias say it is liberal; 23% say they see conservative bias.

-9/29/10 Gallup poll: 48% say the media are too liberal; 15% say they are too conservative.

-5/25/11 huffingtonpost.com Pro-Republican Fox News has one tenth the viewers of the pro-democrat Big Media: NBC Nightly News averaged 9.469 million viewers, ABC's World News 8.380 million; CBS Evening News 6.204 million; among cable networks, Fox News 2.556 million.

-9/22/11 http://www.gallup.com/poll/149624/majori⦠47% saying the media are too liberal and 13% saying they are too conservative.

-8/15/12 Rasmussen Poll: 59% of Likely U.S. Voters believe Obama has received the best treatment from the media so far; 18% think his Republican challenger has been treated better.

-How many Republican president candidates has the New York Times since 1960? None!

-5/5/13 http://newsbusters.org/blogs/noel-sheppa⦠[an example of the democrat version of honest journalists]
DAN RATHER: All of these things weâve said about what the president could do, should do, might have, could have, but the central thing to keep in mind is his opponents - you talk about taking them out to dinner, making nice with them - these people politically want to cut his heart out and throw his liver to the dogs. That does make it very, very difficult to come on nice to them.
CHRIS MATTHEWS, HOST: Yeah, it causes indigestion over dinner donât you think?

-6/17/13 http://www.journalism.org/analysis_reporâ¦In a period marked by Supreme Court deliberations on the subject, the news media coverage provided a strong sense of momentum towards legalizing same-sex marriage [a democrat agenda goal] according to a new study by the Pew Research Center. Stories with more statements supporting same-sex marriage outweighed those with more statements opposing it by a margin of roughly 5-to-1.

-7/23/13 http://variety.com/2013/tv/news/cnn-president-sees-renewed-focus-on-prime-time-programming-1200566850/
The idea that CNN âdidnât have enough conservative points of view was probably a valid criticism,â top executive Jeff Zucker said.



Answer
That's an argument that could never be won against the Liberal "mind set",
no matter how many examples you provided. Liberal news outlets, combined
between television news, radio, newspapers and magazines, run 8 to every 1
that is Conservative. On the average, they are blatantly supportive of Obama,
though a few have recently started "questioning" Obama's decisions. So that
means that for every time we hear "The economy is weak and unstable", 8
times we will hear, "The economy is steadily recovering". Sine Liberals are
"more" fixated on Fox News as the largest purveyor of Conservative news,
they automatically "ASSUME" every Cons in the country watches Fox,
as their ONLY source of news. Such is the shallow and tiny pool of the
Liberal mind.




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Title Post: What's wrong with my 7 yr old step daughter that she never is hungry?
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