Thursday, December 5, 2013

What do you think of this college essay?

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Sally M


Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are? *


Boarding the plane Germany was easy. I was ready for this trip. I was going to meet tons of people and I was going to speak perfect German with everyone and I was going to be totally comfortable with my host family. I was going to be the perfect exchange student. I would see every sight and talk to everyone I met and learn new and incredible things.

As soon as I stepped off the bus that took me from Stuttgart to Konstanz, I was humbled. People were speaking German so quickly that I couldnât understand, I felt shy and awkward, my host mother seemed so stern and aloof, I had no idea how I would ever survive. Over the next few days my tension eased, but things werenât going the way that I, cocky world traveler, had imagined. I had made some friends, gotten to know my host, Jojo, and seen some amazing places in the city. At the same time, though, I had accidentally fallen off my abnormally tall bike more than once, my German wasnât perfect, and my host mother was still as distant and awkward as ever.

It was my first Thursday morning when Jojo broke the news. That night she had a long basketball practice and her father was working late. I was going to be spending the entire evening with her mother.

Dorothea Schacht was terrifying. She was muscular and tough and quiet and I had only seen her smile a few times. I spent the entire day worrying about what was surely going to be an uncomfortable night.

I got home just as she was finishing up dinner. I set the table and we sat down to eat. Dorothea had gone through the trouble of making sauerkraut, even though it was out of season.

I hate sauerkraut.

With a smile, I ate the huge mound that she served me as we made small talk about the plans I had for the rest of my trip. When I finished she asked if I wanted more sauerkraut. I politely declined. She shook her head and said something about how I needed to eat more.

I ate another large helping.

As soon as dinner finished, we went and did the dishes. I washed quickly, hoping that Iâd be spared from more awkward Denglish (a distant cousin of Spanglish) conversations. No such luck.

As soon as we were done Dorothea offered to take me out to get ice cream. It was a sweet gesture and I was appreciative, but I wasnât exactly thrilled to spend more alone time with my scary host mother.

We borrowed the neighborâs car which struck me as a little odd, but they seemed to think nothing of it. The ride was short and quiet.

When we got to the Eis shop I ordered a single scoop of chocolate. She told me that I needed to eat more and changed my order to a double.

We spent a half an hour walking around the old part of the city and she showed me some interesting buildings and a few of the sights. Though I would still hesitate to describe her as warm, she seemed to open up a little bit and our conversation became less strained. We got back in the car and as we drove she told me about growing up in Heidelberg and why she moved to Konstanz.

Our next stop was a castle on the shore of the Bodensee. It had been converted into a restaurant and was run by a very sweet Thai woman. She and Dorothea were friends and we chatted with her as she gave us a tour of the castle. It was a strange restaurant. There were no guests the entire time we were there and I learned that they did not have a chef on staff. They ordered one in for nights when people made reservations. Everything about the castle/restaurant was very bizarre.

Driving home an hour later, my host mom asked me if anything seemed strange. It definitely did, but I wasnât sure how to phrase it so I just nodded. Smiling, she began to explain to me the history of the person running the restaurant and how she grew up as a boy in Thailand and was kidnapped and now she runs a little restaurant. The eccentricity of the entire situation finally broke the ice and I, at long last, began to feel comfortable around my host mother.

I still was not the perfect exchange student, but I was definitely one step closer.

I've revised the essay a little bit to try and fix some of the problems that people have pointed out. So if anyone is interested enough to read the new version I can send it to them or something. Thanks!



Answer
There's a lot of great stuff in this essay. You've done a wonderful job of description and characterization, and you've got a natural sense of humor that really comes through.

That said, I think you're going to have to find a way to cut and/or tighten some of the setup to make sure that you've addressed the entirety of the prompt: it's easy to see why this experience made an impression on you, but how does it illustrate your positive traits? You probably want to come across as a little less passively intimidated in your interactions with your host mother, and more as somebody who's willing to give anything a try once in spite of your misgivings. I think you should be able to pull it off with a few adjustments, though. Good luck!

What midday meal should i cook for a person who is on a slimming diet + me included?




DaMo


I have an assignment to cook for 2 people a midday meal for me and a person on a slimming diet
what should I cook? It probably doesn't have any carbohydrates in it and salt.
Please someone help me.
Send me recipes if you have
thx



Answer
I thinnk saldas are great - they are so versitie. And, some great soup. Here are some of my favorites:

Thai Waterfall Beef Salad

This beef salad recipe offers a feast of flavors & textures with every bite! This salad is based on the famous "Waterfall Beef" dish in Thailand, so called because of the splashing sound of juices falling on a hot grill. The beef is lightly grilled or oven-broiled, sliced thinly, then served with a mixture of salad greens & fresh papaya along with a special Thai dressing. Serve as the main course for a nutritious & oh-so-delicious dinner that's naturally high in protein & low in carbs.

1 to 2 sirloin steaks, depending on the amount of meat you prefer

Marinade:

2 tablespoon oyster sauce
2 tablespoon soy sauce
1 tablespoon lime or lemon juice
2 tablespoon brown sugar

For Salad:

1 large bowl salad greens
1 cup bean sprouts
handful of fresh mint or basil leaves, lightly chopped or torn
1 cup fresh coriander
1 cup fresh papaya, cubed (for tips on buying & preparing papaya, see below)
1 cup cherry tomatoes, left whole or sliced in half

Dressing:

2 tablespoon fish sauce (available at Asian food stores)
3 tablespoon lime or lemon juice
1+1/2 tablespoon soy sauce
1/2 teaspoons cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon brown sugar
2 tablespoon toasted & ground sticky rice, OR 2 tablespoon ground peanuts

Preparation:

For tips on preparing fresh papaya, see: Buying & Preparing Papaya.

Mix marinade ingredients together in a cup or bowl, stirring to dissolve the sugar. Pour over the steak(s), turning meat to coat. Set in the refrigerator to marinate.

For the ground sticky rice: Place 2 tablespoon uncooked sticky rice in a dry frying pan over medium-high heat. Stirring continuously, dry-fry the rice until it starts to pop & is lightly toasted. Remove rice from the pan & allow to cool slightly before grinding it up with a coffee grinder, or pounding into a powder with pestel & mortar.

Combine all salad dressing ingredients together in a cup or mixing bowl, stirring until sugar dissolves. Then prepare your bowl of greens & other salad ingredients.

Grill the steak over a hot grill, turning only once or twice to retain the juices (meat should still be pink in the center).

To Oven-Broil the Steak:

Set oven to BROIL setting. Place steak on a broiling pan OR on a foil or parchment paper lined baking sheet. Place in oven on second-to-highest rung. Broil 5-7 minutes per side, or until steak is well done on the outside but still pink on the inside.

While steak is cooking, toss the salad with the dressing. Taste-test for salt, adding more fish sauce if not salty enough, or more lime juice if too salty for your taste.

Portion out salad onto serving plates or bowls.

Slice the steak as thinly as you can. Top each portion with a generous amount of sliced sirloin & serve immediately. ENJOY!

=============================

Cream of Carrot Soup

1 1/2 pounds carrots, peeled & sliced (about 7 or 8 medium to large)
4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) unsalted butter
2 teaspoons sugar
3 fresh sprigs thyme or 1 teaspoon dried thyme
2 medium potatoes, peeled, coarsely chopped
5 cups chicken stock
1/2 cup whipping cream
1/2 cup Maderia or sweet sherry
Salt & pepper to taste
Dash of cayenne pepper

Cook carrots with butter, sugar, thyme & potatoes in 4-quart pot over medium heat until carrots soften, about 10 minutes. Add stock & bring to simmer. Simmer soup until potatoes can be crushed with spoon, about 15 minutes.

Cool soup slightly. Working in small batches, transfer soup to blender or food processor. Puree until smooth. Return mixture to soup pot & whisk in cream & wine. Add salt & peppers. Return to heat & bring back to simmer. Remove from heat. Makes 6 servings.

Source: Mimma's, 1307 E. Brady St. Milwaukee, WS




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Title Post: What do you think of this college essay?
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