Australia tour?

angelcoolf

I am planning to visit Australia this weekend can someone pls tell me bout it's weather, it's cost compared with indian money, the food there etc.

Answer
WEATHER

Canberra Ap
Tuesday's Summary
Min -2.5°C
Max 13°C
Rainfall 0.0mm
Normally in May
Average Min 3.1°C
Average Max 15.4°C
Rainfall 46.4mm
So far this May
Average Min 3.3°C
Average Max 15.9°C
Rainfall 9.6mm

Canberra Ap 23:02 EST
Temperature 10.8°C
Dew point 3.6°C
Humidity 61%
Feels like 8.0°C
Wind direction NNW
Wind speed/gust 24/34km/h
Pressure 1016.5hPa
Rainfall 0.0mm

[more]
Canberra Wednesday
5°C - 15°C
Clearing shower

Thursday
0°C - 14°C
Frost then sunny

Friday
0°C - 15°C
Frost then sunny

Saturday
0°C - 16°C
Frost then sunny


Facilities

Crowne Plaza
24 hour Reception
Bar
Car park secure undercover parking
Child Minding Centre
Conference/Convention Facilities conference facilities at the National Convention Centre
Gymnasium
Laundry laundry/valet service
Office Services/Business Services guest office
Restaurant - Licensed restaurant
Room Service 24 hour room service
Sauna
Swimming Pool - Heated heated pool
Tour Desk

All Rooms Include
Air Conditioning
Bath baths
Bath Robe
Ensuite ensuite
Facsimile/Modem point data ports
Hairdryer hairdryer
In-house movies in-house videos
Internet Access
Iron/Ironing board iron
Mini Bar mini bar
Pay/Satellite TV cable TV
Refrigerator
Tea/Coffee making facilities tea/coffee making facilities
Telephone
Television colour TV

Experiences Activities
Relaxation
Exercising
Swimming

In The Area - Beyond a Kilometre
City and/or Town (0 km)
Coach Station (1 km)
International Airport (7 km)
Visitor Information Centre (3 km)

Crowne Plaza Canberra is suited to
18-35's
Adult Getaway
Business/Trade/Corporate
Empty Nesters
Gay and Lesbian
Luxury
Meetings Incentive Conventions
Romantic
Self-Drive
Senior
Single

Further Information
Crowne Plaza Canberra's restaurant 'Brindabella' offers both sumptuous buffets and a la carte menus prepared by our award winning chefs. Delicious buffet breakfasts along with a variety of choices for dinner are served 7 days a week. Friday and Saturday evenings are especially popular due to our seafood buffet and extensive a la carte menu on offer.Smoking rooms availableThe 'Atrium Lounge' is the ideal spot to unwind after a busy day of business or a day of leisure. Cocktails, tea, coffee and light snacks are available from 10am until late.

Attractions

ACT Heritage Gallery
The house is decorated with attractive oriental carpets, rugs, wall hangings and textiles. Specialising in the conservation, restoration, valuation and...
ANCA Gallery (Australian National Capital Artists Inc.)
A diverse range of visual arts, crafts and performing arts. Exhibitions include both emerging and established artists.
ANU Arts Centre
With lighting, audio and recording facilities, raked seating, associated rehearsal, dressing and reception spaces and are adjacent to superior catering...
Anzac Parade and Memorials of Anzac Parade
Anzac Parade is The National Capital's major ceremonial avenue and is set along the magnificent Land Axis which forms a key feature of the original 1912...
Archipelago Art
Art gallery specialising in Aboriginal, South Pacific and Asian art.
Art Shed, The
Works by Malcolm Cooke and Marily Oppermann. Selected invited artists at regular intervals. Pottery studio open for visitors to see work in progress.
Art Space 71
An intimate gallery space, also set up as an initiative of Leichhardt Street Studios.
Arya Gallery Persian & Oriental Rug Specialists
Specialising in fine antique and periodic Persian carpets and Oriental rugs, tribal pieces, kilims, collectables, textiles from Iran, Turkey, Afganistan,...
Beaver Galleries
Established in 1975, Beaver Galleries is Canberra's largest privately owned gallery. It includes four exhibition galleries, a sculpture garden, Gallery...
Bison Homewares
Visit the Bison Australia ceramic workshop to see beautiful handcrafted ceramics seen in magazines and sold around the world. Buy firsts, seconds and samples.
Canberra Contemporary Art Space
A vibrant centre for the experience of contemporary art, presenting a curated program of exhibitions and events by Australian and international artists.
Canberra Museum and Gallery
The Canberra Museum and Gallery integrates visual arts and social history in a range of exciting exhibitions, projects and education programs, which explore...
Canberra School of Art Gallery
Annual exhibiton program which reflects the international profile of the school.
Chapman Gallery
Changing exhibitions by leading Australian artists. Aboriginal art always in stock.
Chisholm Street Gallery
A small gallery within walking distance from Civic in the leafy suburb of Ainslie. Enjoy the collection of antiques and recent examples of hand embroidered...
Civic Public Art Walking Tour
The Civic Public Art Walking Tour promotes Canberraââ¬â¢s public art collections to enrich peopleââ¬â¢s experience of the cityââ¬â¢s public places. The self...
Cockington Green Gardens
We all spend time searching for some magic. And ever since 1979 everyone at Cockington Green Gardens has been working extra hard to create somewhere magical...
Craft ACT Craft and Design Centre
The Craft ACT Craft and Design Centre presents a changing program of exhibitions and events showcasing contemporary craft and design by Act and interstate...
Cuppacumbalong Craft Centre
Exhibitions by leading Australian craftspeople including ceramics, painting, wood, glass, wearable art and sculpture. Coffee shop/restaurant, gardens.
Drill Hall Gallery
Exhibitions by leading Australian and international artists which highlight achievements in contemporary visual arts
Gorman House Arts Centre
Built as a hostel in 1924, Gorman House Arts Centre is located in a graceful heritage precinct just five minutes from the City Centre. Home to visual artists;...
Gorman House Markets
Enjoy a browse through Gorman House Markets, open every Saturday from 10am - 4pm, conveniently located minutes from the Canberra Centre. Canberra's only...
Helen Maxwell Gallery
The Gallery promotes contemporary work by artists from around Australia and the Pacific including Aboriginal art. Works in all mediums. Incorporates a...
Hive, The
Located a short walk from the city centre, The Hive is an exciting gallery which has developed a niche market following for its selection of craft, art...
Megalo Access Arts/Print Studio and Galllery
The Megalo gallery features changing exhibitions of contemporary art works made by local and visiting artists who use the print facilities in the workshops....
National Gallery of Australia
The National Gallery is the premier art institution in Australia, providing access to works of art locally, nationally, and internationally. Through a...
National Museum of Australia
Australian and international visitors get a unique chance to explore what it means to be Australian at the National Museum of Australia in Canberra. Awarded...
National Portrait Gallery
Giving a face to the nation. The National Portrait Gallery boasts an extensive collection of Australian portraits across time and media that reflect the...
Nolan Gallery
The Nolan Gallery displays important works by renown Australian artists Sir Sidney Nolan. Located near the Lanyon historic precinct the Nolan Gallery also...
Paintbox
Paintbox represents artists from across Australia and is close to Canberra's city centre, within walking distance of major city hotels and the Convention...
Solander Gallery
Fine art gallery, paintings and sculptures.
Spiral Arm Gallery
Spiral Arm is an artist run gallery set up to show innovative contemporary art. An initiative of Leichhardt Street Studios.
Stephanie Burns Fine Art
Gallery specialising in works on paper and sculpture and paintings.
Strathnairn Homestead
Five rooms in an old timber homestead, approximately 100 square metres of exhibition space, showing artist-run exhibitions. Studios showcasing ceramics,...
Studio Gallery (trading as PJ Stained Glass)
Local artists featuring water colour, oils, pastels, works in wood, glass and textiles
Tuggeranong Arts Centre
The Tuggeranong Arts Centre is a vibrant centre catering to all artistic needs. It features a 110 seat theatre, art gallery, dance studio, workshop space...
Yarralumla Gallery and The Oaks Brasserie
Art and craft gallery in a heritage setting, with a licensed brasserie in a garden setting.
Dreamtime 4 Days 3 Nights
Learn about Aboriginal culture on this tour through the heart of Arnhem Land as you meet local Aboriginal people, visit fascinating historical sites and experience the unique beauty of this undisturbed wilderness. You can explore and discover unique plants and wildlife as you walk through the bush, enjoy an exciting four wheel drive trek, or swim in the rock pools at the foot of a pristine waterfall.

Experiences Activities
Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander $935,00
Adventure
Cultural
Environmental
Flora and Fauna
Nature based
Off road
Outback
Remote
Soft Adventure
Wilderness
Wildlife
Barbecue
Birdwatching
Bush Tucker
Bushwalking
Camping
Flora
Learning/Lessons/Tuition
Off Road Driving
Sightseeing
Swimming
Walking

Cancellation Policy
Dreamtime Safairs in Central Arnhem Land suggest to contact them for full details concerning their cancellation policy.

ACTION Buses - Canberra's Public Bus Service Prices from $2.40
ACTION Buses operate 365 days of the year travelling to many of Canberra's attractions. Grab your free copy of Sightseeing? Take ACTION, an easy guide... More
CBD Chauffeured Transport
Discover the nature and history of Canberra with 'A' class chauffeured ground transportation. Parliament, winery tours in style and tailored tours. Ford... More
Corporate Air Canberra
Corporate Air Canberra operates charters, sight-seeing tours, in and around Canberra and surrounding region. All weather Australia-wide aircraft charter 24... More
Countrylink
Countrylink offers three rail services daily from Sydney to Canberra. A daily service from Canberra to Cootamundra connects with the XPT to Melbourne and... More
McCafferty's/Greyhound Prices from $34.00
McCafferty's/Greyhound operates daily services from Canberra to Sydney, Brisbane, Melbourne and Adelaide, as well as other services Australia wide.
Murrays Australia
Three daily return express services between Canberra and Sydney (departures daily at 9am, 1pm and 6pm). One return service daily between Canberra and Wollongong... More
QANTAS Airways LTD
Qantas operates daily direct services from Canberra to Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane and Adelaide.
Transborder Express Prices from $13.50
Transborder Express operates a passenger route service between Yass and Canberra (pickups from Yass, Murrumbateman, Hall, Belconnen, Calvary Hospital

We would like to go on a cruise in 08 but have never been?

beccaroo

What would you recommend for a family cruise (2 children 7 &10). What is included? Do you have to dress up?

Answer
First thing to consider is that Passports are required for cruises in 2008. Give yourself plenty of time to get your applications processed.

My kids started cruising at ages 5 and 7. We have done Disney, Royal Caribbean and Carnival. The Disney cruise was OK when they were very young but now as a 'tween and a teen, they love Carnival the most.

The 24-hour pizzeria and ice cream station are real treats for this age kids.

They enjoy the events hosted by Camp Carnival and usually meet a good number of vacation friends.

When shopping for a cruise, make sure that your travel agent includes the port fees and taxes in any quote you get. This is usually not included in the teaser rates you see on the web.

What is included for this fee...your cabin, food, tea & lemonade, entertainment (except casino).

In addition to the fare, consider these extra expenses (except the tips...these are optional).

Tips: $10 per day per guest.

Bar drinks: $4-12 each plus 15% gratuity

Sodas. $1.75 per can or $35-45 for unlimited soda by the glass card. The card pays for itself if you drink 3 sodas per day.

Shore execursions: 50-200 per person per event.

Spa services - $50-200 per service

Photos - $20-22 per sheet.

Bingo cards - $5-10 each

Speciality coffee and pastries - $4-12 each

Bottled water - $3.50 each

Taxis in port - $5-10 per ride

Tips - luggage porters. $1 per bag

Parking at cruise terminal - check w/port authority.

As for dressing up, you don't HAVE to. You can dine at the informal eatery on the formal nights but that is the night the usually serve the steak and lobster. My girls love dressing up for the formal night. You will see every type of dress from a little black dress to evening gown type wear. My husband wears a dark suit and tie.

Other times, attire is vacation...shorts, capris, tanks. However, if you want to dine in the main dining room for dinner, shorts and tanks are not allowed. Pants (including jeans) are good for dinner.

We take along a set of 2-way radios to keep in contact while on-board That way, there are no missing check-ins and I have piece of mind while my girls enjoy their vacation as well.

Notable...the cabins are pretty small.

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what to do in Dallas, Texas and Columbus, MS? Can you recommend where to go?

24 piece dinner service sets image

CuriousAbo

I will be traveling to Dallas and Columbus in October. Can anyone recommend which areas to visit? It seems all cities have a nice area to visit for shopping or restaurants or just sightseeing. Where do you recommend seeing when in either of these cities? thank you in advance.

Answer
ATTRACTIONS IN DALLAS
Amusing, historic, educational and iconic are just a few of the words that can be used to describe the sights and attractions in Dallas. Regardless of which sights you choose to visit, you can be assured that you will find unique experiences available only in and around Dallas.

1. The Dallas World Aquarium is a unique event facility in the Historic West End District. Features 80,000 gallons of saltwater exhibits including sharks, stingrays, and hundreds of reef fish all in living coral reef ecosystems. Guest are surrounded by tropical plants and animals from around the world. The facility can provide seated service for 500 or an informal function for 1500 guests.
Downtown 1801 North Griffin Dallas, TX 75202
(214) 720-2224

2. Public ArtWalk Dallas! is a free, self-guided art walk promoting a healthy lifestyle through increased awareness and appreciation of public art in downtown Dallas. The ArtWalk is a 3.3 mile route highlighting thirty pieces of art and architecture in the Arts District and downtown Dallas.

3. "The largest zoological experience in Texas," sums up what visitors will find on a trip to the Dallas Zoo -- a 95-acre park, the largest zoo in Texas with an impressive collection of animal species and an education department that offers fascinating, fun programs for all ages.
Open: 9:00am - 5:00pm (regular) and 9:00am - 4:00pm (winter) Closed Christmas Day.
Admission: Adults $8.75, Children (3 - 11) $5.75, Senior Citizens (65+) $5.00. Members of the Dallas Zoological Society and children under 3 are free.
Monorail prices are $2.50
Ages 3 and up are $2.00.
Parking: $5.00.

4. Overlooking scenic White Rock Lake, Dallas Arboretum offers the perfect venues for workshops, lectures, dinners, receptions, weddings, and special events set in 66 acres of lush gardens and beautiful vistas. The new 5,000 square foot Rosine Hall, the historic DeGolyer Home and the elegant Camp House offer a variety of options to make each event unique.
Open Daily 10:00am. - 5:00pm
Available for weddings and private functions.
Admission: Adults $8.00, Senior (65+) $7.00, Children 3-12, $5.00, Children 2 and under, Free. General Parking, $5.00. For information on valet and free shuttle parking, call 214-515-6500. Groups over 20 receive dollar discount with advance ticket purchase.

ATTRACTIONS IN COLUMBUS
There are many attractions throughout the Greater Columbus, providing fun for the whole family.

1.Schiller Park
Situated on 24 beautiful acres, this park includes the resplendent Huntington Perennial Gardens, a fishing pond, basketball courts, a softball field, a playground, a picnic area, a recreation area, an amphitheatre, and four lighted tennis courts. During the summer months, the park offers tennis lessons and hosts the National Junior Tennis League Program for beginners.
1069 Jaeger St, Columbus, OH 43206-2678

2.Arena District
The city's latest (and still growing) hotspot is the Arena District, home of fine entertainment, dining and sports. Few places offer the opportunity to catch dinner, a movie and a NHL hockey or arena football game at Nationwide Arena all in one night.

3. Columbus Zoo and Aquarium
The nationally renowned Columbus Zoo and Aquarium has Columbus' "other wildlife," hosting more than 2.5 million visitors a year. The zoo features naturalistic wildlife habitats, picnic areas, gardens and other recreational facilities. The recently opened Asia Quest exhibit and the new Zoombezi Bay water park are must-see stops along the way.

With the info above, i hope you can have a good time no matter which city you will go ~~

Does anyone else remember how to lay and set a table, what goes into a 24 piece place setting?

Fr. Al

I can recall sitting at tables laid with multiple cloths topped by linen damask, the fish knives and forks were pearl handled and did not match the rest of the service which was composed of both sterling and triple plate.
Good try! But one would never use such an elaborate setting for breakfast, and the purpose of the cloths is as much cushioning and absorption to permit conversation without the clanking of silver and crystal or unecessary care about minor spills and condensation.
A nine course meal might have as many as five different wines.
Meals have been known to go as far as up to fourteen courses, but more than five are exceptional and superfluous. In our fast food age we've forgotten how to enjoy food and good company.
A formal meal seldom has steak. Steak knives are presented with the steak, much as carving sets are presented to the host with a roast or large bird.
The setting was anything but a nightmare. And while the rule of "outside in" generally holds, only a fool would be so preoccupied with using the "right" utensil as to fail to enjoy the meal. The setting includes more than the flatware. And smaller tops the larger in the china and porcelain, with a charger (either ceramic or other) as bottom piece. The crystal is at hand, and once again follows the rule of outer to inner.
Serving from the right and removing from the left, there can be additional pieces added and removed as needed, for example escargot would be served hot and fresh from the broiler or oven in a special dish or shells on a bed of salt and a special implement to hold the hot shells, while the cocktail fork is used to eat with.
The same goes for appetizers, entremets, and fish courses served on a bed if crushed ice.
The implements (special scissors, crackers, picks, etc. and butter warmers for drawn butter on a plate or tray with lemon slice) for crab or lobster are likewise presented as and when used either as a main course or in place of a fish course.
What books would you consult, and can you work with the basics? How far do they extend? People probably know much more than they think if they take into account the courses possible. basic flatware, 5 pieces, normal desert service+2, fish +2, cocktail +1, bread and butter +1, coffee+1, iced drink (or parfait) +1= 13 pieces+/-; plates, charger, main course,fish course,salad, bread and butter,soup or bouillon,cup and saucer (demitasse & saucer optional, added or substituted)= 8 pieces+/-, crystal (out to in)white wine (hock) , claret, burgundy, (iced drink, optional), water (placed above dinner knife), flute, cordial=7 pieces +/-, this alone gives you 28 pieces+/-. The bouillon or soup may be served in bowl or cup, in which case the bread and butter is moved on sitting upward to one's immediate left hand, along with its knife, so as to be comfortably accessible, otherwise it is moved as the bouillon is cleared.
The one fork that appears on the right hand of the plates with the knives and spoons is the ice cream fork. The two desert service pieces are placed horizontally above the plates, fork below and spoon above in opposite directions the spoon handle to the right.
The ice cream fork may be either to the outside or the inside of the spoons, depending on the course for which it is used, an appetizer sorbet (some are even savoury rather than sweet) or ice cream served with cordial(s). The iced drink spoon is usually to the inside, being used for a drink accompanying the meal or a parfait served as desert.
The point of setting such an elaborate service isn't really complicated. Everything should be at hand as it is needed, with as little coming and going as possible. Attention at the meal should be to conversation and camaraderie, rather than futile search for the appropriate utensil, or making do with soiled utensils from the previous course.
Fine wines should be appreciated in appropriate stemware which enhances their unique characteristics, not pouring a new wine over the dregs of the previous.
Knife rests may be used to prevent soiling of linens when the knife is not in hand or on the plate. Likewise chopsticks and their rests may make an appearance, either as courtesy to Oriental guests, or as a distinctive touch with one or more courses. There are rice bowls with built in rests which may replace the bouillon in the setting. The point of any meal is always hospitality rather than rigidity.
With anything like this it's important to have fun!
A roll of newspaper and shaker of malt vinegar is always appropriate to fish and chips, as is a paper napkin or serviette to anything served on a bun, and a simple tortilla to frijoles with cheese and salsa. But everyone should
have at least one time in their life that they sit down to a full meal with enjoyable company. It doesn't take that much. In the west we could learn much from the Japanese practice of Chanoyu.
http://www.cheftalk.com/forums/professional-pastry-chefs-forum/4205-savory-ice-creams-sorbets.html?t-4205.html=

http://www.english.udel.edu/moneyhun/chanoyu.htm
http://thehotplate.typepad.com/the_hot_plate/2004/10/a_meal_to_remem.html
http://youngandhungry.wordpress.com/2007/07/06/review-of-the-herbfarm-and-the-surprise/
http://www.frenchteachers.org/nfw/nfwthemes/cuisine.html
http://www.asktog.com/foodArticles/000KitchenTable.html
In this link look especially at L'enclume, there are a number of these delightful restaurants I've eaten at in England:
http://addiator.blogspot.com/
Yes , I know dessert!!!!
Menu
Grenouilles Grillées en Brochette.
Madiera.
Potage de Lapin.
Bernkästler Doktor. q.m.P
Hors d'Oeuvres.
Olé Mackerel Crudités
Olives à la Grec marinée avec
Féta et Tomates Secs
Crabes Mous Frits.
Retsina.
Poisson Rouge
Pouilly Fuissé. a.c.
Canard à l'Orange
Etrémets
Asperges Blancs Artichauts Farcis Petit Pois Carottes à la Crème Riz Sauvage
Pomme de Terre à la Parisienne .
Haute Sauterne Châteeau d'Yquem G C.
Quartier d'Agneau Rôti, Gelée de Menthe
au Violettes Cristallisées
Châteauneuf-du-Pape 1989 AOC.
Crème Bavaroise aux Framboises
Appfelstrudel Tarte au Sucre
Compote de Fruits avec Ohio White Port
Veuve Clicquot La Grande Dame Rosé 1995 Champagne Liqueurs assorti Café noir.
Cognac Remy Martin VSQ
Tea at 4 p.m. Cocktails from 5 - 6 Dinner should go no later than 11:30 ending with sherries and fruit granites for the ladies in the parlour (Amontillado, Dry Sack, or Spanish) and Brandies (Napoleon, Armangnac, Cognac) or Rum (Viejo An~ejo, Cruzan) and vintage Havanas for the men in the Library.

Answer
I am going to try; hopes this is correct, the first plate is a very small plate like a saucer that's your appetizer plate, then you have your saucer a little larger, which is your salad plate, next you have your entree plate. The first glass you have is your water glass, then you have your drinking glass for sodas, seltzers etc.. If you are setting for breakfast, you might consider a juice glass at the table, After this we add silverware, dinner fork, salad fork, and your appetizer fork; which is very small, and about only three forks or prongs, then we have soup bowl, and plate or cup, and a soup spoon, and a spoon or fork for desert which ever desert one chooses but to be correct, I would put both. After this you have your knives butter, and bread knife, and steak knife, And the covering of tables is a individual choice, although most people when using a silk or linen table clothe; will cover it for protection the other table cover, the third clothe, I believe is used in the same matter as a dust ruffle, for the bed is for showing purposes and dust. And soup is mostly always first unless theirs a appetizer but don't take my word as a fact, use as a reference. I had fun

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Odd wordplay recipes anyone?

24 piece dinner service sets image

wow_bill

Here are some examples, can you come up with any more?

6 or 7 helium filled mylar balloons, a face mask and snorkel, and a tomato cage can be used to build a lunar excursion module.

A bowl of tapioca, a blond wig, and a large bottle of massage oil is all it takes to clone Pamela Anderson. (This one is from Tommy Lee himself. I think it was right after their first divorce.)

With a roller skate, a box of raisins and a match you can make your own hybrid car.

A badge, a beeping wand, and a clipboard is all you need for a good time frisking women at the airport Curbside Security Service.
I'm going to a family wedding this weekend. I think I'll try your pinata recipe.

Here's a couple more ideas I thought of:

A 10 lb. sack of flour wrapped in plastic and salthered in vaseline, latex gloves, hospital gown and surgeon's mask are all you need to teach a birthing reception class for midwives.

A PHd in Philosophy, a paper hat and a RF telephone headset are the essential ingredients for a drive-thru window operator at Sartre-in-the-Box or Carl's (Jung) Jr.

Answer
With only 5 deluxe ant farms, a submarine periscope, and 13 raw steaks
(and you have to fill the ant farms with water that has a little blue dye in it.) and Voila! Your child can look like a one-eyed, underwater alien creature while he waits in the car for you when you're shopping,

Okay, okay, Sorry, I'm just getting the hang of it, let's see...

1 wholeâChupacabra (brainwashed)
1/4 cupâwhole navel oranges
1 tspâchupacabra zest (colored marshmallows may be substituted)
2 cupsâfresh squeezed chickens milk
5 largeâeggplants (unprepared)
1 tbspâdihydrogen monoxide
1/2 tspâTSP
Sneak up on Eggplants so they are totally unprepared, dice and drain and place in a medium saucepan set to 19° kelvin. Peel and eat the oranges. Mix tylenol, barn owl droppings and vanilla extract in a large mixing bowl and whip til frotty, slowly incorporate dry ingredients until stiff peaks form. Thoroughly brainwash chupacabra and let cool in the sun over night for about an hour. Simmer in a pan about half full of kittens for 3 seconds and serve at once.
You've just prepared a delicious dinner for 7 of:
EGGPLANT CHUPACABRA!

Wait, wait too long, I know, I know, that wasn't it. Okay okay...

A paintball gun full of kiwis, an industrial grade meat separator, and any disliked female relative (male relative may be substituted if inverted) and you have a perfect party or picnic substitute for the traditional piñata!

No, no, no Jeez this is a tough one Bill! but I'll get it, here goes...

Forty or fifty pieces of black gum scraped off the sidewalk, a human foot, and a jar of dijonaisse makes hors D'ouvres for a reception of 43!

ALMOST! I've almost got it...wait, was that one right? No. Okay, one more time. Hold on I think I've got it this time...

An 18" x 24" picture frame, some blue construction paper and matching duct tape (18 rolls), and a years supply of botox and you can make a realistic 3-D selfportrait!

Look, I'm gonna have to come back to this one, but I can do it I swear...

An air compressor, a summer dress, a very amenable girlfriend is all you need to make The Headless, Hairy-Chested, Upside-Down Woman Costume.

Yes! Now i've got the hang of it!

4,000 gerbils, 200 tubes of crazy glue, and 4,000 strike anywhere matches and you've got yourself a miniature replica of a Grateful Dead concert audience.

A monster truck, an unhappy woman ignoring you, and a loud obnoxious voice are all perfect ways of announcing to the world, unequivocally, that you have a small penis.

Wearing a pair of dark sunglasses, driving an Oldsmobile, while hanging a walking stick out the window and tapping the ground, with a seeing eye dog sitting shotgun with his paws glued to his eyes. will get other drivers to yield the right of way every time.

A 3 inch piece of wire, a stick of gum, and an invalid credit card is all you need to make people think your about to do what McGyver would do.

A bag of Purina Cat Chow, a trench coat, and a pair of pant legs and you'll be the worlds first flashing pet-o-phile.

A box of chalk, a pair of sneakers, and an intergalactic transporter are all you need to play hopscotch with aliens from another galaxy.

A cigarette lighter, a battery powered DVD player, and a time machine are all you need to rule the world...for a while.

I don't know what's wrong with me?

Kat

The basics...
I'm 24 years old. I'm happily married. I don't have children. I have good friends. I'm close to my family. I don't/can't work because of health problems.

Lately I have had trouble going to sleep, like I will be really tired and go to bed and just lay there and my mind won't stop. I will think of things I need to do or things I forgot to do or sometimes even just random things that don't matter. I've tried writing those things down hoping getting them out will help but they don't. I have to pretty much be at the point where my eyes won't stay open to go to bed. When I do fall asleep, I sleep too long. Like 12-15 hours. I set alarms and don't remember them going off. I'm always tired.

On top of that when I'm alone, I feel sad and weird. I feel very isolated and depressed. The only time I'm really happy is when I'm home with my husband. I never want to go anywhere and sometimes I don't even want to get dressed.

My mind is always a lot more active than my body, I hate the house being dirty but when I try to clean I hurt. My back always hurts and it hurts to be on my feet too much or bend too much. I have a lot of medical issues that involve joint and muscle problems. I sit here day after day wanting to be able to clean and organize my house and when I try, I can't. I want to be able to make money and help with bills and things but I can't.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I need to see a lot of different doctors which I'm aware of but I wanted to know if anyone else feels this way? or if anyone knows what's wrong with me?

Please, don't tell me that I'm lazy. It has nothing to do with that and people try to give me that s**t all the time. Lazy people don't WANT to do anything. I just can't. Sometimes I try to force myself to be active and then pay for it for days. Like last week I cleaned the whole house and made a nice dinner and I felt like I was hit by a train ever since then.

I know this is in the wrong section but I asked it before in the right one and didn't get many answers. Please don't give me crap for that.
Welsh-I've actually wondered that myself, I don't take offense. I want to know what people think the problem might be.

Answer
Dearest ,

You should be sure that you're not alone in this , there are so many people all over the world that have the same problems in common .

All you need to do is taking some time to rest your mind and make it up ; You're probably feeling werid because you don't really know what your goals are .

Take a shower , lay on your bed , bring a piece of paper and write down these questions :

# what really makes me happy ?
# what should I do when I feel lonely ?
# how to escape the bad moods ?

Take your time , answer these questions very carefully .

As for the "loneliness" , that's really normal .. and its okay to feel that way , actually when you feel alone , it's a hint that you are ALIVE , and this feelings will not last forever , it will pass honey , the future is going to amaze you , because you'll never know what is hidden for you .

I understand that you want to clean and such , I suggest that you call any cleaning services and let them come over your house once a week or something , if you dont have money , ask your family's help (sisters , mother .. etc ) , and if you can't do that as well , I suggest you start cleaing step by step .. don't do everyone in one shot , just step by step and you will be amazed from the results .

Remember that there's absolutely nothing wrong with you , you are just human-being that gets happy , sad , angry and scared sometimes .. it is human nature honey .. you dont have to worry about it .

Pray for God.. he is the answer of all that has been and all that will be , I'm sure you'll make it through .. you seem to be a very strong and successful wife and woman .

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